Blessing, a Nigerian woman, and Jake, an American man, shared their unique journey to marriage on Femi Lazarus’s YouTube program, recounting the challenges they faced, including cultural resistance and family objections. Their story begins with Blessing’s traumatic upbringing, marked by the oppressive care of her strict stepmother and a distant father. Describing her childhood environment as one filled with fear and suppression, Blessing highlighted the constant anxiety she experienced at home. One particularly harrowing episode left lasting scars – after an extreme beating from her stepmother at the age of five, she was hospitalized and suffered significant injuries, which have remained a physical reminder of her traumatic past. This painful background set the stage for her later struggles in relationships and self-worth.
Jake and Blessing’s paths crossed through a Christian discipleship program while Jake was serving as a missionary. Despite having no previous attraction to Black women, Jake felt an intense conviction upon first seeing Blessing’s photo on Instagram. He described this feeling as an unprecedented experience, emphasizing that he had never contacted a woman online before. Over five months, their long-distance relationship blossomed through phone calls and video chats, allowing them to connect deeply over their shared faith and life stories. However, when they decided to marry, Blessing’s family raised significant opposition. Her relatives were skeptical of Jake’s intentions, even spreading frightening rumors, including the outlandish claim that he was an organ harvester. Blessing’s brother advised her against Jake’s visit to Nigeria, fearing for her safety, causing Blessing immense emotional distress that ultimately impacted her health.
Confronted with the additional weight of traditional Nigerian customs, Jake and Blessing faced yet another obstacle in their journey. Despite the pressure to have a traditional ceremony, Blessing felt compelled by divine guidance to forgo this route. “The Lord was saying we should not do the traditional wedding,” she explained, indicating the inner conflict this created for Jake. Even as a foreigner, Jake was respectful of Blessing’s cultural practices but ultimately decided to honor the direction he felt was from God. This led them to organize an intimate church wedding instead, attended by fewer than 20 guests. Their decision to bypass a large reception and opt for simplicity reflected their commitment to following their faith rather than conforming to societal expectations.
The couple’s unconventional wedding involved Jake paying the bride price to Blessing’s mother, recognizing the estranged relationship with her father, who had not been involved in her life for many years. Jake’s rationale was clear: he could not honor a man who had failed to care for the daughter he was now marrying. With the guidance of their marriage counselor, they transformed the traditional bride price into a meaningful gift, showcasing their intention to prioritize love over tradition. This approach also represented their desire to break free from familial constraints and societal norms, emphasizing their bond rather than external approval.
As they reflected on their journey together, both Blessing and Jake acknowledged that their union serves a purpose beyond their individual lives. Blessing expressed a belief that God had a plan to connect their two countries through their marriage. Jake echoed this sentiment by sharing a pivotal moment in which he felt divinely tested regarding his intentions towards Blessing. This shared spiritual commitment solidified their bond, as both partners experienced significant moments of divine confirmation throughout their relationship. For Blessing, marriage has been a path to healing; she found comfort in the love of God and the support of her husband, which helped to counter the inadequacies she felt during her challenging formative years.
Now living together in Abuja, Blessing and Jake approach their future with optimism and confidence. Their story resonates with themes of resilience, faith, and the transformative power of love. This couple’s commitment to listening to divine guidance and creating a life together rooted in understanding and mutual respect serves as an example of love overcoming adversity. Despite the obstacles they faced, Blessing and Jake are dedicated to their purpose as a couple, seeing their marriage as a testament to the strength of their faith and their desire to bridge cultural divides. As they continue their journey hand in hand, they carry with them the lessons learned from their respective pasts and an unwavering belief in their shared calling.
