The Power of Words: Rethinking the Traditional Marriage Vow
Marriage, a sacred union ordained by God, finds its roots in the creation narrative, where Eve was fashioned as a perfect companion for Adam. This divine act established not only a remedy for solitude but also a foundational structure for human lineage and societal continuity. Marriage, therefore, transcends mere companionship; it represents a divine order of purpose, procreation, and shared existence. Throughout history, the institution of marriage has evolved, with the introduction of formal vows in the 16th century marking a significant shift. While these vows have become a cornerstone of Christian wedding ceremonies, their current form warrants critical examination. Mr. Beware Kugblenu Narh, a chartered accountant, missionary, and author, argues for a reevaluation of the traditional marriage vow, advocating for a shift towards a more positive and hope-filled declaration of commitment.
Narh observes that in contemporary Christian weddings, the recitation of vows often resembles a rote tradition rather than a heartfelt expression of covenant. This perfunctory approach diminishes the profound significance of the vows, reducing them to mere ceremonial utterances. To rectify this, Narh proposes elevating the importance of the vows, perhaps even incorporating them into the legal marriage certificate as a tangible reminder of the couple’s sacred commitment. He argues that this would instill a deeper understanding of the vows and their implications, transforming them from a ritualistic practice into a genuine testament of love and commitment.
The central point of contention for Narh lies in the specific phrasing of the traditional vow, particularly the clause: "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health." While seemingly comprehensive, this phrase, according to Narh, carries an undercurrent of foreboding, almost anticipating hardship and adversity as inevitable components of marriage. He questions the necessity of explicitly acknowledging these potential challenges within the very vows that are meant to celebrate the union. Would it not be more empowering, he suggests, to declare vows that resonate with positivity, growth, and an unwavering belief in a joyous shared future?
Narh proposes a reframing of the traditional vow, replacing "for better, for worse" with "for better and for best." This subtle yet significant alteration shifts the focus from anticipating potential hardship to embracing the possibility of continuous improvement and shared growth. Similarly, he suggests emphasizing health, prosperity, and enduring joy, fostering a mindset of abundance and blessings within the marriage. This reframing, he argues, does not imply a dismissal of potential challenges. Rather, it represents a conscious choice to approach the marriage with a spirit of optimism and faith, believing in the power of God to guide and sustain the couple through any adversity. It’s a shift from passively accepting the "worse" to actively pursuing the "best."
The rationale behind Narh’s call for a revised vow hinges on the power of words and their influence on reality. Proverbs 18:21 emphasizes the life-and-death power of the tongue, highlighting the impact of our spoken words on our experiences. Narh contends that vows anticipating hardship may inadvertently shape expectations and create a self-fulfilling prophecy of negativity. By contrast, vows infused with positivity and hope can cultivate a mindset of resilience, faith, and unwavering love, empowering couples to navigate challenges with grace and strength. He underscores that the very act of speaking positive affirmations over the marriage sets a tone of blessing and abundance, aligning the union with God’s intended purpose for marital joy.
Narh emphasizes the covenantal nature of marriage, drawing parallels with God’s covenant with Abraham, which was replete with promises of prosperity and growth. He argues that marriage, like the Abrahamic covenant, should be a vessel of blessings, reflecting God’s intention for abundance and joy. Reframing the vows to focus on these positive aspects aligns the marriage with God’s covenantal nature, ensuring that the words spoken over the union are life-giving and hope-filled. This resonates with the biblical concept of marriage as a source of joy and companionship, exemplified by God’s provision of Eve as Adam’s helpmeet.
Narh’s proposition does not negate the reality of life’s challenges. It simply proposes a shift in perspective, encouraging couples to approach their marriage with a foundation of hope and an unwavering belief in God’s goodness. This optimistic outlook is further supported by Ecclesiastes 9:9, which encourages individuals to enjoy life with their spouse, emphasizing the importance of finding joy and fulfillment within the marital bond. By revising the vows to reflect this divine intention for marital joy and prosperity, couples can create a stronger foundation for their union, fostering a climate of love, hope, and unwavering commitment.
In conclusion, Narh’s call for a reevaluation of the traditional marriage vow is not a rejection of its sacredness but rather an invitation to enhance its power and relevance. By rephrasing the vow to reflect positivity, hope, and an unwavering belief in God’s blessings, couples can embark on their marital journey with a renewed sense of purpose and a shared vision of a future filled with joy, love, and enduring commitment. This reframing, he argues, will not only strengthen individual marriages but also uphold the sanctity of marriage as a divine institution, reflecting God’s original intent for a joyful and prosperous union.
