Maje Ayida, a fitness entrepreneur and media personality, recently opened up about his profound struggle with depression following his highly publicized divorce from Nollywood actress Toke Makinwa. The separation, which unfolded under the intense glare of public scrutiny, left Ayida feeling overwhelmed by shame and compelled him to withdraw from society. He described the experience as intensely isolating, leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable. The weight of public opinion, coupled with his own internal struggles, created a perfect storm that plunged him into the depths of despair. He confessed to feeling ashamed not only for himself and the damage to his self-esteem but also for the perceived stain on his family’s name. This sense of responsibility and the fear of tarnishing his family’s legacy added another layer of complexity to his emotional turmoil.
The emotional strain of the divorce permeated every aspect of Ayida’s life, severely impacting his professional trajectory. He found himself unable to concentrate, his motivation plummeting to the point where even the simplest tasks felt insurmountable. The joy and purpose that once propelled him forward dissipated, leaving him questioning the point of even getting out of bed. The pervasive negativity surrounding his personal life began to bleed into his professional sphere, leading to lost business opportunities and a dwindling sense of self-worth. As a man who identified strongly with his work, this loss of professional identity dealt a devastating blow, further exacerbating his feelings of hopelessness and despair. The once vibrant and driven entrepreneur found himself trapped in a vicious cycle of negativity, unable to escape the shadow cast by his very public divorce.
Ayida’s depression manifested in various debilitating ways, including insomnia and paranoia. He described a period of almost a year where he effectively “checked out” of life, struggling to cope with the emotional fallout of his divorce. Sleep became a luxury he couldn’t afford, plagued by insomnia that left him perpetually exhausted. His paranoia amplified the isolation, creating a distorted reality where he felt constantly observed and judged. Even venturing out in public became an ordeal, fueled by the unshakeable belief that everyone was whispering about him and scrutinizing his every move. This crippling self-consciousness forced him back into the confines of his home, perpetuating the cycle of isolation and despair. The constant noise of public opinion, even in his self-imposed silence, became overwhelming, a cacophony of judgment he couldn’t escape.
Recognizing the gravity of his situation, Ayida eventually reached a turning point. He acknowledged that he couldn’t continue down this destructive path and made a conscious decision to fight for his well-being. He embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing, researching ways to combat depression and taking proactive steps to reclaim his life. A crucial aspect of this process was accepting accountability for his role in the breakdown of his marriage. Although initially painful, this acceptance ultimately proved cathartic, allowing him to begin processing his emotions and move forward. This act of taking responsibility, though difficult, marked the beginning of his journey toward recovery.
The backdrop of Ayida’s depression was his tumultuous marriage to Toke Makinwa, which began in 2014 and ended acrimoniously in 2016 amidst allegations of infidelity. The public nature of their separation further intensified the emotional strain on both parties. The release of Makinwa’s memoir, “On Becoming,” which detailed intimate aspects of their troubled marriage, added another layer of complexity to the already fraught situation. Ayida, feeling publicly humiliated and defamed by the book’s contents, took legal action against Makinwa, suing her for ₦100 million in damages. He demanded the removal of the allegedly defamatory sections, a request that Makinwa refused to comply with.
The legal battle between Ayida and Makinwa culminated in a 2020 ruling by a Lagos High Court. The court sided with Ayida, awarding him ₦500,000 in damages from both Makinwa and the book’s publisher. The ruling also prohibited further publication of the book containing the contested content. This legal victory, while perhaps offering a sense of vindication, did little to alleviate the profound emotional toll the entire ordeal had taken on Ayida. His public confession, years later, reveals the lasting impact of this period of his life and highlights the often hidden struggles men face in the aftermath of highly publicized divorces. His story serves as a reminder of the importance of seeking help, taking accountability, and prioritizing mental health amidst personal turmoil.
